I have a phobia of holding in my pee, i am convinced that i will explode? *serious answers please*?

Ok, so nobody knows about this, but im scared of holding in my pee because... well, i am scared that i will explode. Any rude comments will be removed. anyway, i turn twenty two tomorrow and i want to stop this phobia. i think that it might be getting a bit serious. I was in my univerisity lecture, which was very important, and i didnt want to disrupt my professor so i did something stupid- i tried to hold it in. I got scared, then it started to leak all over my crush who sat next to me. I wear diapers now but i dont know if it's enough. I pee a lot even though i don't drink a lot of water. Because your body's made mostly of water and if i drink too much it will add pressure to my innards. When too much pressure is added i might explode. So these are my two phobias, can anyone help me? thank you.